Question: To book or not?

Happy World Book Day 2018! For years, I have pledged to write a book. I hope to do just that. It will be the biggest accomplishment of my life.

It turns out today is Word Book Day.

World Book Day is a celebration of authors, illustrators, books and reading designated by UNESCO as a celebration in more than 100 countries.

World Book and Copyright Day is April 23 and seems to get a lot of billing, too. Mark your calendars!

I like books. I love reading. I write to stay sane. So, I’m making today World Book Day in my world.

To learn more about World Book Day events, activities, visit www.worldbookday.com. Or, check out #WorldBookDay on Twitter. The hashtag is trending and many word nerds are getting in on all the action.

For years, I have pledged to write a book. Before breast cancer came into my world, I fantasized about writing a smutty novel. Twice, I sketched out characters and plot lines. Eventually, I hated it all. Scrapped everything. I don’t think I could salvage those thoughts if I wanted.

Then, Breast Cancer 1.0 showed up in my bra and I started outlining a memoir of sorts about my life with the disease. I tried to blog daily about the ins and outs of my cancer. The blog worked out well. However, after a few months of writing specifically for a book, I got discouraged and doubted whether my story was meaningful enough to put to paper.

When Breast Cancer 2.0 arrived, I was quiet … Shocked and scared out of my mind mute. After several months, I returned to writing. It was cathartic. It helped me process my metastatic breast cancer diagnosis. Putting down my words, gave me a foundation to move forward. I got serious about a book again.

In my quest to be a decent author, I have researched literary agents. I have interviewed published writers and they have generously offered insights and advice. I also have a pretty decent start on a manuscript.

No one else has read what I have written. So, it’s still intensely personal and poorly spelled, I suspect.

However, I am still on the fence about whether I should ‘write’ this book. ‘To book or not?’ I routinely ask myself.

I don’t know if anyone will be interested in my words. I don’t know if my story will be too pedestrian. Mostly, I am scared of the ‘What if I get it wrong?’ ‘What if I insult someone?’ thoughts that play through my brain when I sit down to be diligent about writing my story.

When Jenny Lawson, aka The Bloggess and renowned author of several seriously funny books, was generous enough to answer some of my questions about writing a book, she was straightforward. She encouraged me to establish my voice, build an audience and get noticed on social media by participating in ‘Tweet Ups’ and other cyber jamborees.

Nicki Durlester, who published ‘The Pink Moon Lovelies: Empowering Stories of Survival’ about breast cancer patients, encouraged me to find a niche that would appeal to readers, something specific about my journey with breast cancer. Nicki also told me to seek someone ‘notable’ to write a foreward to anything I wanted to publish. For her book, Nicki had Dr. Kristi Funk, founder and director of Pink Lotus Breast Center and breast care specialist for Angelina Jolie, pen the forward. Dr. Funk’s words are eloquent, personal and informative. It’s a hell of a forward.

My friend Trevor’s father published a book years ago. Ivor Hughes and co-author David Evans wrote ‘Before We Went Wireless: David Edward Hughes, His Life, Inventions and Discoveries 1831-1900.’ When I spoke with Ivor about his suggestions for writing, publishing a book, he stressed the importance of being dedicated and having a distinct voice. ‘The main thing is if you feel you have a story, write from the heart,’ Ivor said. ‘You went through the experience. Try not to get despondent. There is a lot of rejection.’

Although I haven’t talked with her personally, I follow Mary Karr on Twitter. She is an insanely gifted writer and poet and dedicated to her craft. For example, yesterday she tweeted about her writing practices: ‘Working on this book, I make no appts at all (including docs or evening meals) from Sun noon-Weds dinner, by which time I’m so squirrely & forlorn I’d talk to strangers on street. Full work days Th-Fri but evenings off. Sat Free! #WritingLife/#Memoirs make your social life suck.’

With that ringing endorsement, it shocks me more people don’t cloister themselves and write.

I guess that’s where I am again. Do I have a ‘real’ story to tell and, more importantly, am I diligent/dedicated enough to see this sucker through?

Earlier this week, I posted the ‘This is a test’ blog to my Facebook account. Having been most quiet on my Twice Bitten blog for a few months, I wasn’t sure what to expect in terms of feedback. Coming back from a head injury, I also wasn’t sure if my writing would resonate with my friends.

All I can say is ‘Thank the powers that be for my friends and family.’ The comments I received on that blog really propped me up. I have felt just a bit beleaguered lately. Recovering from ‘the fall’ and being stuck in the house for the past month have played hell on ‘depressive Kelley.’

Fortunately, my friends and family bolstered me with comments like:

‘I am glad you are feeling better. I love your writing!!’

‘Love you, King! ❤️I hear your voice in every word.’

‘You are the best human I know! ’

‘You sound exactly like you. Exactly. ❤’

‘Kelley, so glad to hear you’re starting to feel better. … Reading your blog is good medicine for us; hopefully it felt like good medicine to write.’

Bless you all! Indeed, writing that blog helped. It lifted my brain from the book pages I had been reading for weeks and got me focused, again, on my words/my voice.

So, on World Book Day 2018, I am encouraged. I can write. I will write.

If my story weaves into a book, it will be the biggest accomplishment of my life. Surviving breast cancer twice, aside.

I will give this a shot. Again.

If you’re reading my words, Thank you! If you have any advice, please do share … ‘To book or not?’ is a difficult question for me to answer.