Flying the friendly skies: Come on, people!
- Dec 5, 2019
- 5 min read
Cruising high above The Alps, strapped into the middle seat: To recline or not? Airplane etiquette might seem like a lost art but it doesn’t have to be.
As a kid, I was always amazed by the requirements I had to meet to board an airplane.
The rules, stipulated by my parents (who were bankrolling the operations) and society in general at that time, often included wearing new clothing; styling my hair to resemble Pippi Longstocking; having extra cash for emergencies; and, being more polite than was normally expected.
It was like flying was a special experience … A privilege.
Today, I wish more people had grown up with or been introduced to these guidelines as they take flight. Some of the interactions and personal habits I’ve seen on airplanes are simply gross, bizarre, hateful.
Whether directed at me or nearby travelers, it seems once people board those tin cans with wings, all common sense and decorum has been checked with their luggage or shoved deep into the depths of those obnoxious, oversized carry ons placed horizontally above.
For me, I’ve had a few memorable encounters, including:
• On a flight from NYC LaGuardia to Frankfurt, Germany, I sat down, buckled my seatbelt, and tried to recline my seat a bit. It was a long flight. I wanted to be comfortable. In response, the woman behind me hit me on the head with a rolled-up magazine. Never before had I felt more like a disobedient puppy. To this day, I never recline my seat. (This is pretty good etiquette advice, actually. More on that later.)
• On a (pre-Sept. 11) flight from Phoenix to Denver, I boarded the plane and found two older men sitting in the row where my seat was assigned. The men had made camp in the full row with sodas, food, a chess board, and they were moving their rooks, bishops, and queens across the middle seat. When I told them the middle seat was, in fact, mine, they refused to move. I spoke with a flight attendant. She tried to reason with the traveling chess players. No dice. They refused to move. Fortunately, the flight was not full. I was assigned another seat.
• On a recent (2019) flight from Denver to San Jose, CA, a family dressed in traditional Sikh turbans and head wraps boarded. As the family made its way down the aisle, I was dismayed to see other passengers turning in their seats, making hushed comments, and, generally, being suspicious/hateful. When the elderly Sikh man, sitting across the aisle from The Weed, got up mid-flight, he accidentally bumped into The Weed. The younger Sikh man he traveled with fell all over himself to apologize and be certain The Weed was OK and not hurt or angry.
• On a flight from Denver to Kentucky/Tennessee (I was a kid, I don’t remember the final destination before we drove for hours to a family reunion), a celebrity boarded the plane. Yes. Bob Barker flew commercial in the 1970s. The minute the highly coiffed and besuited game show host entered the plane, people started hooting and clapping. They then proceeded to clog up the boarding process, seeking his autograph, and talking with him. Poor Bob Barker!
To be sure, I have seen a lot. The memes of the barefooted traveler and the woman combing her long hair across all manners of personal space are entirely too accurate.
However, I’ve also seen some subtle signs of humanity like most recently when fellow passengers helped a poor young mother traveling with her toddling son and infant daughter. ‘Mom’ was way out of her depth. Still, people stepped up. It was nice, if not shocking, to see.
I think that’s where a lot of us frequent or not-so-frequent flyers are now these days: Shocked to see something decent happen onboard a flight.
We shouldn’t be. And, we don’t have to be if we all remember ‘We’re in this together, people.’ Having some common decency and showing a bit of respect goes a long way.
A 2013 Business Insider story focused on some easy, important airplane etiquette rules, including:
• Think carefully before reclining your seat — This might be one of the most hot-button issues when flying. Ever since I was scolded with a head swat by a fellow traveler, I have decided a reclined seat is not worth angering another passenger. Also, my posture is so poor, the upright seat can only help. If this does not appeal to you, Business Insider suggests looking behind you before reclining or warning the traveler behind you that you’d like to recline. One sacred airplane seat rule all should follow: Keep your seat upright during meals … When/if meals are served.
• Don’t cause carry-on chaos — In this era of checked bag fees, carry-on compartments are highly sought property. If you travel with two carry-on bags, keep the smaller at your feet. Also, place your overhead bags as efficiently as possible so other travelers have the space they need.
• Don’t get hammered in the high skies — Although alcohol can be purchased pretty much at any time while flying, it’s polite to consider whether or not having a hopped-up beverage is polite or appropriate. Certainly, I’ve had a few gin & juices while heading to Europe. However, on a recent flight, I was seated beside a young girl. In this situation, it didn’t seem polite to have a drink. So, I didn’t. Also, I’m pretty sure no one wants to end up like this Icelandair passenger who had to be taped and zip-tied to his seat after drunken behavior. Seriously, click through here for the photo alone: https://gawker.com/5973102/icelandair-gets-a-gold-star-in-restraining-crazy-drunk-passengers
• The middle seat sucks — We’ve all be there. The middle seat. There’s very little comfort in this Seat for Saints. Unlike passengers on the aisle or at the window, the person in the middle seat is pretty constricted. So, airplane etiquette experts suggest it’s only fair the person in the middle gets full reign of the arm rests. Both arm rests. Be kind. Rewind. Give them both arm rests.
• Don’t force a conversation — To me, it seems these situations have improved in recent years with EarPods, noise-cancelling headphones, and icy glares. Certainly, you can meet new and interesting people on airplanes. Still, if a nearby passenger is not interested in talking or making chit chat, let it go. Another interesting tip, if you are having a nice conversation with a fellow passenger, others around you might not enjoy hearing it. James Wysong, a travel columnist with NBC News, suggests: ‘If your conversation with a willing neighbor goes on for more than 10 minutes, take it to the back of the airplane and finish it there. You could probably use a stretch and your seat neighbors probably need a rest.’
• Toilet time — Let’s be honest, airplane lavatories are gross and should be used when only necessary. Also, the Mile High Club is an inappropriate fool’s errand! There, I said it. Would you try this in a commuter train lav? If so, why? In my opinion, airplane lavatories are emergency-only locations. If you do need to use them, etiquette dictates not to take a lot of time and don’t make a mess.
As holiday travel kicks into gear, here’s hoping these tips help make flights a little easier. I certainly did not cover all the suggestions. If you’d like to read more tips, check out:
https://www.businessinsider.com/13-airplane-etiquette-rules-2013-2#7-middle-seat-gets-the-armrests-7
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Have you encountered any inappropriate, rude, gross behavior during a flight? I’d love to hear from you. Please share!
As always, happy travels and thanks for reading!
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