Luka Blue & Life in 2022

This is one of the first photos I took of Luka when she came to live with The Weed and me on Dec. 3, 2021. She's grown up a lot but still looks at us like we saved her. I think the opposite might be true.

It’s come to my attention that I have been a terrible person.

I have yet to write about our beloved Luka Blue, the Miniature Australian Shepherd The Weed and I adopted in December.

Honestly, I can’t take all the blame for this. I now understand why most parents don’t write blogs, routinely wash their hair, vacuum, or floss.

Raising a high-energy youngster is stupid exhausting.

Don’t get me wrong. I know it’s a stretch to compare rearing this rambunctious puppy to parenting a child, but I suspect there are some similarities.

For instance:

• Luka had to be potty trained. I understand this also is a requirement for small children.

—Our training continues. Just know: We should own a paper towel manufacturer.

• Luka had to go to the doctor for vaccinations. I understand small children get this, too.

—I now know why some parents cry when their children go to the doctor for vaccinations. Don’t poke the baby!!

• Luka eats three messy meals a day. I’m told small children require such nourishment.

—I’m thinking of inventing a dog bib just for the little beast. We’re going to get ants if she keeps flinging her food far and wide.

• Luka. Likes. To. Chew. On. Me. On. The. Weed. On. Everything. I understand small children also have ‘teething’ issues.

—Our arms and hands look like we sleep on a bed of barbed wire.

• Speaking of teeth, Luka is losing her puppy teeth. I understand small children do the same and receive a cash compensation from a mysterious woman who sneaks into their bedrooms and touches their pillows as they sleep. Gah!

—No Tooth Fairy here. Seriously, who thought that was an appropriate tradition for human children?

Luka still has four upper canines; I removed the last bottom canine one recent Friday night when I noticed her trotting around the house looking particularly bucktoothed. She didn’t speak to me for a day after I yanked the tooth free.

• Luka is learning to talk. I understand most small children start babbling at a young age.

—Luka frequently uses her Talking Buttons to tell me and The Weed about her immediate wants and needs. Mostly, ‘Outside’ or ‘Food’ or ‘Give me your credit card. I’ve heard great things about life on the beach.’

—Her use of the buttons gets so intense some days that we have to institute Quiet Time when no one uses the Talking Buttons. Shhhhh!

• Luka needs exercise. Lots of exercise. I’m told small children also need to get out and stretch their legs every now and then.

—We have started jogging along the nearby Boulder Creek Trail which is more or less a broken hip on the horizon for this writer. Luka trots along for about one-minute stints before she decides to grab a nearby stick and spit it at my feet—mid-stride—or chomp a piece of goose poop and sprint off like she just stole a Fabergé egg. I suspect most small children do not enjoy goose poop as much as Luka does. Score one for the human children.

• Luka likes to snuggle. I understand small children also show affection by reaching out for a hug or cuddle.

—I have never lived with an animal that puts their front legs up in the air, asking to be picked up, and then snuggles against my neck like she really does want to use my credit card, if only I’d understand. We call her ‘Cat Dog’ because of her tendency to melt hearts with her snuggle habits.

• Luka answers to many nicknames. I understand most small children also endear themselves to the point that they earn sweet alternate names.

—A list of Luka’s nicknames includes: ‘Lukatic,’ ‘Luka Toons,’ ‘Kukka,’ ‘Kooks,’ ‘Fluff Nugget,’ ‘Nugget,’ ‘Nugs,’ ‘Dittle,’ ‘Meatball Dog,’ and the aforementioned ‘Cat Dog.’

• Luka likes to play. I understand this also is the first entry on most small children’s resumes.

—Her new favorite game is to jump in the middle of the bed when I’m making it and do zoomies or turn down the sheet corners I have just carefully folded. When I try to restrain her, she scampers just out of reach and growls at me like the regal descendent of wolves now at the helm of a comfy King bed she is.

• Luka is loved. I understand most parents care deeply about their small children so much so that they voluntarily spend time with them even when they are being complete assholes in the grocery check-out line, demanding a Snicker’s bar or the newest issue of People magazine.

—It’s been more than four years since we lost our beloved yellow dogs. More than four years of heavy grief, treasured memories, and gratitude for our time together. It took The Weed and me that long to even consider bringing another little beast into our lives.

Today, to sleep past 6 a.m. is a luxury no longer afforded us. We now know most of our neighbors because everyone knows Luka. My attire of black clothing is constantly coated in dog hair. And, what was once a mostly clean, quiet house feels so, so much fuller.

I wish The Lellos and Luka could have crossed paths. Something tells me they totally would have loved each other.

Contrary to this photo, there is little sleep with Luka Blue around.