Of a margarita and the public health department

A few years ago at The Rio in Fort Collins: I knew someday a margarita from The Rio would get me.

I bet you didn’t know a stiff margarita can cause a bit more than a hangover.

In my case, a margarita enjoyed with my lunch on Dec. 30, 2024, may have exposed me to Hepatitis A, according to a very nice, very sympathetic lady at the Boulder County Health Department.

I learned of this apparent exposure when my friend Trevor messaged me earlier this week: ‘Did you see the county health alert about hepatitis A contamination from fruit juice used in margaritas at The Rio in Boulder?’

In fact, I had not. However, Trevor knows me pretty well. For example, he knows:

• I like The Rio in Boulder. (I lived above The Rio in Fort Collins while in college. I’m basically family.)

• I like the Big Tex margaritas at The Rio in Boulder.

• And, I had messaged him from The Rio in Boulder Dec. 30 discussing the restaurant’s new look and storied history.

So, after some searching of bank records and trying to remember what The Weed and I ordered that day, I looked up the health department’s alert.

It says: ‘Boulder County Public Health has identified a potential exposure to hepatitis A associated with beverages containing fresh juice at the Rio Grande Restaurant in Boulder on Dec. 30, 2024 (Bummer!!!) and Jan. 5, 2025.’

‘Anyone who consumed at least one of the aforementioned beverages (Big Tex margarita) on Dec. 30 should monitor for symptoms for the next four weeks, since too much time has passed for a vaccine to prevent disease from possible exposure.’

Great.

The very nice, very sympathetic lady at the health department told me hepatitis A has a low transmission rate, even though the county’s health alert went to great lengths to say, ‘Hepatitis A is a highly contagious virus that infects the liver and mainly spreads when germs from feces/poop contaminate something that enters the mouth.’

To be honest, I’ve read a lot of government-issued alerts in my life, and this is the first time I’ve read one using the term ‘poop’ which made me laugh out loud and then all at once perform a full-body gag reflex because, well, I drank a beverage—possibly—contaminated with poop.

The very nice, very sympathetic lady at the health department listed several symptoms I should watch for during the next month, including:

• Yellow skin or eyes (jaundice)

• Dark urine or clay-colored stools

• Diarrhea

• Feeling tired

• Fever

• Joint pain

• Loss of appetite

• Nausea, stomach pain, and/or vomiting

I responded, ‘Well, this should be pretty easy. Apart from the yellow skin and eyes part, I experience most of these symptoms daily.’

She responded: ‘I see. Well, perhaps, you should speak with your physician about any underlying health conditions you might be experiencing.’

I responded: ‘Oh, I have. He’s a quack. He said he won’t prescribe medication to someone who doesn’t drink enough water but enjoys a margarita in the middle of the day; someone who doesn’t exercise enough; someone who considers potato chips a vegetable; someone who had a pretty serious ‘breakfast cake habit’ a few years ago; or, someone who insists chili and macaroni and cheese mixed together should be listed on the food pyramid.’

She responded: ‘I see.’ *Awkward silence*

I responded: ‘Well, thank you for the information and for being so kind. Have a nice day. My liver hurts.’

So, what I’m taking away from The Great Margarita Debacle of 2024/Hepatitis A: It Probably Won’t Kill You, But We Can’t Say That For Sure is: Avoid fruit juice at all costs.

It’s straight tequila and tacos from now on.