Of eyesight and the crows

Damn it, Nibbles!

It turns out I’ve been looking at the world all wrong for the past year.

I visited the optometrist yesterday and learned my contact lens prescription was transposed during my previous exam, and my 'dominant eye’ became my right eye. Apparently, I have a dominant eye. And, apparently, it’s supposed to be my left eye.

This explains why I’ve had trouble seeing 5 feet in front of me for a long, strange time.

I was given a new prescription. Now, my left eye is back in charge of steering the ship. It has to get used to that amount of responsibility again. With that comes some headaches. Quite literally.

So, today, I’m sitting in my darkened office, trying to keep the headache at bay and reading a fascinating Reddit thread about a guy who started feeding crows in his neighborhood and they basically pledged allegiance to him.

So much so that the crows began attacking people who weren’t him, including dive-bombing his neighbors in resource-guarding behavior.

The thread concluded with the guy convincing his neighbors to also feed the crows. There also was an update about the crows helping bring attention to an old man who fell on the ice…But that’s a lot for me to weave together here. So, if you’re interested, here’s the thread: https://www.reddit.com/r/legaladvice/comments/ki6fnd/oregon_i_accidentally_created_an_army_of_crow

That said: I have decided I want, nay, NEED, my own army of crows.

We have a handful of the black birds that flap around the yard and spend time bathing in the pond behind our house.

I just have to convince them that I am worthy of their time and attention.

To do this, I placed pecans on the railing of the balcony outside my office.

I did so this morning with the crows looking on from the yard. Unfortunately, Nibbles, the active squirrel, also saw.

A few hours passed and I caught Nibbles taking down all of the pecans in one squirrely sitting.

Not cool, Nibbles.

At this point, I have replenished the pecans. Added a raw egg and several cherry tomatoes.

Research from the Audubon Society said this is a good mix of foods to attract crows. Might even dissuade Nibbles, the thieving squirrel. (He’s supposed to be at home with his mate, T-Bone, taking care of their squirrel babies which I’m pretty sure have arrived by now. See previous post: https://kelleysking.wixsite.com/bolderswedish/single-post/spring-is-in-the-air-squirrel-porn)

Anyway, this is how I’m spending my Sunday.

Warding off a contact-lens headache while trying to land a murder of crows. Normal behavior. I’m quite certain of it.